So, my friend Leila sort of asked me to do this thing, and
then 10 lbs. of Awesome actually asked me to do this thing, and I have this
vague idea that I’ve done this thing before, but I will try to do it again
anyway. It’s hard to do, actually,
because I think I am fairly transparent and there aren’t a lot of things no one
knows about me.
1. My father claims
that I was his draft deferral for the Vietnam War. My parents apparently actively tried to get
pregnant, so that my father could avoid going to Vietnam, and my father has told me
a story where he had to report to the Draft Board to present me. My father likes to add that it’s a mighty
good thing I was born, because he would have chosen to be a helicopter pilot if
he’d had to have served, and helicopter pilots didn’t fare to well in Vietnam.
2. I was the kid in
elementary school that got picked on.
Grades 1 through 5 were the most miserable time in my life.
3. I used to have a
handgun. I bought it when I lived in LA,
and liked to go to the pistol range for fun.
The day of the LA riots, my dad called my car phone (attached to the
actual car) and said “Where’s your gun?”
“It’s in my lap,” I replied. “Is
it loaded,” he asked. “Do you think I’m
stupid?” I asked. Of course it was. I’d have shot anyone who got close enough to
touch my car that day. I sold that gun
when I left LA and haven’t owned one since.
4. My dog, Pixie, had
the best smelling feet. I know this
because I used to smell her feet. I miss
the smell of Pixie-feet.
5. I have inspired at
least one poem, at least 4 songs (that I know about), and at least one haiku. Of these, my favorite is the haiku.
6. A friend of mine
and I once planned to open a series of bars.
We planned one in a tropical location called Docksides, and one in a
college town called The Library. I think
a bar called The Office would also be wildly successful. “Sorry, honey, I’m going to be late. I’m at the Office.” “Sorry I missed your call, Mom. I was at The Library.” Genius.
7. Jennifer once told
me I was the kind of woman who’d be handing out autographs someday. Sometimes I feel like I’ve let her down that
I’ve never really become that kind of woman.
Whew. That was
hard. Want to play? Go for it.
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